There’s an interesting dating practice going on
and it seems to be taking off. Many people that meet in the online world of Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid, and others have begun to have a sort of micro lunch date during the work week. If you break it down, it makes a lot of sense.
First, the date is timed, which makes it a lot like a slower version of speed dating. The built-in time constraints take a lot of pressure off of you when it comes to deciding when to leave, or even having to come up with an excuse to leave. Anyone can stand a 20 to 30 minute lunch, even if it is going terribly.
Evan, 30 years old, shares: “I like doing a no-pressure 20-minute lunch, and if I am feeling good about it, I let her know I’m going out Friday night after a long week if she would like to come. If the answer’s yes, then it went well and most likely we will be touring each other’s sheets. If it’s a no, well no harm; on to the next one.”
As Evan alluded to here,
this format makes it very easy to follow up with a second date. A simple, “I had a great time for lunch this week; I’m going out to Ophelia’s Friday night… Got word they are supposed to have this cool live band. Some of my friends will be there. Can you come?” Or, “I’m going to get a few drinks this evening, it’s been a doozy of a week and I need to blow off some steam. Would you like to join?” The possibilities are endless. You can tailor your follow-up date suggestions to either express a desire to get to know your lunch date better, or to indicate you just want to have a little fun… Sounds like Evan would prefer this latter indication.
the inherent pressure in dating is practically non-existent. You are both there for shared reasons; life-sustaining calories and a break from work. The average American works 260 days a year according to Symmetry, a payroll company. Sure, you can eat with your coworkers any old day, but sometimes maybe you spice it up and do something different. Amanda, 35, says it best: “It’s low-key, I like that. It’s not dinner, which I feel like is too much pressure. It’s not drinks, which oftentimes I feel is pressure to make out.. or more. So this works.”
Fourth and finally,
Tara, 22, explains: “It’s good because it’s fast; you see them in a light you don’t really see them in until you’re full-on dating. And the guy is usually well dressed because he’s in his work clothes, which is a turn-on for me.”
There is a certain attractiveness in people when they are dressed up. We all try and dress up to an extent and sometimes way beyond an extent when we go on that first date. But, as times have moved on, the dress code has slowly liberalized (not in a bad way). For men, a suit and tie became a button up and tie, which slowly rolled into the best shirt and nice pants combo, and now maybe even more toward just solid jeans or khakis and a statement shirt. For women, it has gone from a classy dress and hair adornment, to smaller dresses, statement earrings, to just flattering jeans and a nice tank top and sweater.
These are all just observations from yours truly of course. But anymore, we do not dress for dates the same way we dress for work. What I find cool about the lunch date is that you get the opportunity to meet someone new during work hours and see them as themselves, not the date version of themselves.
In summary, lunch dates are a great new trend, no matter what kind of connection you are looking for.